Unlikeable team lead insists all colleagues join mandatory monthly happy hour, gets humbled by state laws: 'People were terrified they would lose their jobs'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 4, 2025 9:00 PM EST

The thing about fun is that it is difficult to force it.

As a result, when it is demanded by a workplace and organized by somebody that you don't like, it is all but inevitable that it will be a miserable experience. Nonetheless, it is a common tactic for insecure supervisors and HR departments to insist on mandated activities under the guise of "team building" and somehow making all of those people whose lives they make a misery 40 hours a week enjoy being around them better.

The problem for those who participate in this is finding a way out. It doesn't always feel possible, unless they quit or get fired. Still, it makes it all the more satisfying when a loophole is found, or somebody finally stands up to these unsubtle and unenjoyable plans. There is sometimes a light at the end of the tunnel, and you have to be the one to provide it.

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  • Dressed down so I stood up

    I worked in an office where they promoted a very new, unexperienced, unqualified, suckup from an entry level guy to a team lead. One of three under the manager. There were roughly 30 people on the team. HR rules stated that he
    via i_dont_wanna_sign_in
  • a businessman sits at the desk in his office looking at his laptop
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, an employee put a newly promoted team leader back in his place after he demanded that his colleagues come to a happy hour with him every month. His reasoning for this is that his promotion to lead had been considered unfair, and he had gone from being disliked to hated after he had taken the promotion.

    While many complied with this new rule, this employee realized that, from a legal perspective, he and his colleagues did not have to attend. He made the small move of pointing that out and watched as the plans that this much-reviled supervisor had unravelled.

  • wasn't allowed to apply due to having been at the company < 1 year, had zero leadership experience, etc, etc. Grievances were filed with HR and dropped despite multiple, fully qualified individuals with spotless records being in the running.
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  • He was known to be a suckup, and wasn't really liked prior to his promotion. After the promotion he was wildly hate.. Apart from a couple sycophants. Quite entertaining, in retrospect, how people will degrade themselves for the barest scraps of power...
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  • Anyways, middle management knew he was reviled and told him he had to find a way to get people to like him. His solution was "not required but you should think of them as required" happy hours every month. For the first one, most everyone felt like they had to go and started figuring out how to fit it into their schedule. Some of these people had an hour
    via i_dont_wanna_sign_in
  • drive each way and were finding sitters for their kids. These people were terrified they would lose their jobs if they missed drinking a few beers with the boss. (I should note that he has roped in everyone under the manager, I'm not even technically under this guy)
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  • a barman serves two beers to two men waiting at the bar
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I knew my rights and declined the invite. He comes by my cube a few times and the day of to try to pressure me into being there. Dude, there is no way I'm spending my free time with work people. You can either keep me on the clock or you can't ask me to be there, I know
    via i_dont_wanna_sign_in
  • my rights. (I liked my team members well enough, had been to parties at their houses, etc, but I'm not going out with the Team Lead under any circumstances) Team Lead did not like that, and walked away in a huff.
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  • Next day everyone comes in and everyone is pretending like they had fun when it's very clear they're just trying to get away from Team Lead's attempts at chumming with them. Around 10 we have a standup and he talks about how great it was to have everyone at the thing. Then he singles me out, talks about how anti-social I am, and how management notices when people aren't team players. Don't skip required events, etc.
    via i_dont_wanna_sign_in
  • LOL, okay dude. About 20 minutes later I email the entire team "Hey all, <team member> asked me about required after work events that are unpaid so I figured i'd share with everyone. State statute <blah says that for hourly employees like us that we can't be required to go to these sorts of things without being on the clock. So if you can't find a sitter and can't make it, you don't need to worry at all"
    via i_dont_wanna_sign_in
  • Totally friendly, totally non-confrontational. Totally effective. Team Lead sat by himself at the bar for the next two "required but not required" happy hours and had to find another way to force people to like him.
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  • a man sitting at the desk in his office talking on a cell phone
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Weird Object8752 Meow! he handed you that axe, didn't he? -
    via Weird_Object8752
  • Zadojla It's much easier for people to like you if you're not an asshole. When I was a manager, I never scheduled social events, because my folks worked 24x7 in four locations, and there was no way to be fair (plus I don't like those kinds of events anyway).
    via Zadojla
  • Malibucat48 Was he buying the drinks at the bar? If not, that makes it even worse. But if he wanted people to like him, he could have had once a week pizzas for lunch. Pizzas are cheap and would probably be paid out of petty cash. Fridays are fun but Mondays would give the blah back to work day some pizazz.
    via Malibucat48
  • Imguran It's not too hard to get people at work to like you, simply increase their pay to something reasonable - or even better - their worth. Also, don't pull crap like what happened here.
    via Imguran
  • DarthBacon8or This is exactly the way to handle this. Don't forget the federal Fair Labor Standards Act. It is illegal for your boss to ask you to pick up a pencil for your job outside of being clocked in, let alone being required to drive somehwere and spend your time with those people.
    via DarthBacon8or
  • Nervous_Ad_5583 Was this business some sort of a start-up by a twenty-something? Is there no formal policy and procedure manual? It sound as if there will be more chaos down the road. Why do people insist on starting businesses for which they have neither talent nor skills? Sad.
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  • PoolExtension5517 The first rule of getting your team to like you is to not ask them to like you. Second rule is to not be a dick.
    via PoolExtension5517
  • xboxgamer2... Petty revenged served in a solitary fashion.
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  • KaeOss 12 I always tell my coworkers "Love and appreciate you all, but my off time is for the people I don't get paid 40 hours a week to hang out with."
    via KaeOss12

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boss manager coworkers email work petty revenge happy hour workplace reddit thread Reddit
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